


Exploration

by Spokane



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bad at feelings and nervous mess Ben, Emotionally Repressed, F/M, Future Fic, Loss of Virginity, Massage, Rey is ignorant and unashamed, Touch-Starved, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 21:46:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13667922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spokane/pseuds/Spokane
Summary: After the war their shared vision comes true and they stand beside each other.Set on a sweltering planet midsummer, Rey and Ben are attempting to find the tools and insights to teach a new order of force users among old temple ruins.Now that they are finally alone Rey finally has time to "explore" new awakenings with Ben... and Ben is his usual emotional wreck.





	Exploration

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bitterbones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterbones/gifts).



 

   It was hot. Damn it all, it was _hot._

 

Wincing against the sky, Rey felt nearly cheated. If not for lush greenery blooming against the stifling swelter, this planet easily could’ve made for Jakku. After all, exploring the ancient ruins held haunting similarities to scavenging. But here and now, she was no longer alone. After a war and then some it finally happened. The future she’d seen was beginning to come to fruition. She’d stood by him at the end of all things, and now in the burning heat of the planet’s summer cycle he was here to stand by her. Their days here were filled with the task of finding the secrets held within the ruins; secrets needed to begin training and learning the ways of balance. Only then could they ever hope to train a new generation of force-users while maintaining a harmonized equilibrium.

But right now they needed to cool off and Rey badly needed to rest her sore muscles.

 

“Not sure, but I think it’s this way.” Rey gestured hopefully forwards and Ben followed as he always did.

 

Upon finally cresting the hill they’d found it, the sacred spring she’d initially mapped out in her diagram. A shallow crystalline pool so inviting Rey wasted no time tugging off her robes and various wraps until only her underthings remained. Shamelessly she dipped into the cool waters, sparing a glance towards Ben who seemed to be removing his layers a fair bit more hesitantly. Rey watched his broad muscles shift as he too dipped into the spring, taken by how they shone with perspiration, still fresh from their training. She felt an unbidden flash of heat across her face before she blinked and turned away.

 

 The sparring session after their evening meal was brief.  It’d taken her a week to get him to stop holding back when they sparred, but once she’d made it clear she considered it an insult he quickly halted all efforts to pull his punches. And with him she had to think quickly- for he was a puncher. Literally. The former warlord that was Ben Solo was not above a smuggler’s bar brawling.

 

She absently rubbed a spot between her shoulders, smarting with a blow he’d managed to deal her, right before she’d knocked him on his ass with a sweeping motion to his heels.

 

“Are you alright?”  

 

“Of course,” She immediately stopped her massaging gestures, as if she felt nothing at all. They were both so used locking away their vulnerabilities, she hadn’t even thought about how quickly she’d done it without hesitation.

 

His generous mouth pulled into a deeper frown as he regarded her. She didn’t need the force to know he didn’t believe her. 

 

“Just,” The competitive edge within her faded when she saw the pleading look in his dark features.  “maybe a bit sore. Probably ought to stretch more.”

 

Wordlessly he reached for her, and she already knew what he meant to do. Rey turned and gave him access to her back as if it were a routine gesture. If he couldn’t be sure she was alright by asking her, he’d sooth her with his own hands.

 

The initial touch made Rey jump, mostly due to the fact that Ben’s hands were wet from the water while her skin was still dry. Ever a man of action, he dug into the deep tissue of her shoulders with little preamble.

 

 Not that she minded it much, Rey had always preferred getting to the thick of things quickly.

 

His hands easily engulfed her sore muscles, soothing the knots and aches she hadn’t even been aware she’d been holding onto. In truth, this was the first time she’d ever felt his hands on her while she was so bare- and had she known more about carnal urges and pleasures she might’ve been apprehensive. Or even ashamed.

 

Ben’s touch awoke something in her chest that made her feel full, not unlike the few precious stolen kisses they’d had before they’d set off on this mission.

 

The memory of them tentatively sliding their mouths together for the very first time combined with a deep press of his hands against a tender spot caused her to make the first noise. A sound of earnest pleasure.

 

“Oh that feels-” She’d made to say before it broke off into a keening sigh as the tension ebbed away under his touch. She truly couldn’t help herself.

 

 For some ungodsly reason he hesitated for a moment and she could feel his massive hands freeze. Something in the mood tensed for the the briefest moment, then relaxed and his hands resumed their glorious work.

 

“That’s it,” she exhaled as Ben’s deft hands drew the last syllables out from her. “Right there.”

 

Rey felt his breathing quicken along her back and his touch faded into something lighter, though the change was so slight it was nearly imperceptible. _Nearly_. Yet, Ben could hide nothing from her. Something wasn’t quite right, it felt as if something was making him terribly nervous.

 

Though she knew little about psychical affection and contact, she couldn’t help but notice Ben seemed more on edge around her these days. He didn’t let his touch linger as he did before they’d arrived on the planet, and he’d made no moves to kiss her during their stay thus far. But it mattered little to Rey. She was new to it all and didn’t know what to expect- if anything, from love or affection. But she did know one thing about what he was doing to her now.

 

It felt good. Almost too good.

 

And it was making her ache. As he drew his hands lower, taking away the hurt with his rough nurturing touch, he was making her _ache_.

 

“Maybe a little harder.” Rey could feel his hands slow again as he shifted away from her slightly. Bemoaning the loss of contact she shifted back abruptly, colliding with his lap before settling on her knees again.

 

The strange sensation of him easing the tension while simultaneously winding something within her tightly reminded her that this throbbing winding sensation was nothing entirely new to her.

 

She knew exactly what she needed to do to relive the pressure building up in her nether regions. She’d discovered it years ago holed up inside of her AT-AT while scraping out a lonely existence.

There was a moment of hesitation while she pondered if this was something better done in private, like using the ‘fresher. But surely if she kept her undergarments on there could be no shame in it, especially not in the presence of someone she cared for as deeply as Ben.

 

That decided, she snaked her hand beneath the shallow waters and into her garments below. She quickly found her place. Her special place. It was a bit fuller than usual, and one small stroke of her nimble pointer was enough to send a jolt of _something_ through her. It’d never been quite like that before, never quite so strong.

 

In fact, it was such a strong emotion she was sure he’d felt it.

 

Ben’s hands released her and water cascaded from his body as he shot forward. Rey turned her head and nearly collided with his as he franticly leaned over her shoulder to stare into her lap.

 

Or more pointedly, at where her hand had vanished to.

 

“Rey wha-” Ben seemed to be in full panic mode now, or at the very least full tilt disbelief.

 

“Sorry,” Rey offered him her best apologetic grin. Apparently that had been a bit of a faux pas. Quite a large one if his wide scandalized eyes were anything to indicate.

 

“I’ve just got this place, a special place- on my nethers. Discovered it years ago, but it feels good to touch it when I feel pressure down there.”

 

She prattled on as nonchalantly as she could, as if it were nothing but a simple harmless secret her body had hidden away. A scavenged piece of her body’s ordinary wonder. His expression intensified and she felt the bond grow heavy with a strange hungry emotion. Like a man starved.

Ben clenched his jaw, managing only to blink at her in a worryingly silent response. He swallowed thickly and she could see his throat straining with the effort of absorbing his words back.

 

She rubbed herself again with a practiced hand in an attempt at offering further explanation.

 

“You see- it’s like this,” She lost the rest of her words to a full-bodied shudder that rippled through her spine. That was new.

 

If anything, her little demonstration had only made his state worse. She needed to resolve this quickly so normal life could proceed, because this was frankly embarrassing and confusing the hell out of her.

 

“Sorry, it’s usually not quite so strong, but I think it may be the way you were touching me earlier.”

_Touching her_. Now there was an idea.

It occurred to her- she no longer had to do this alone. Ben was by her side now, and even if it was apparently indecent, there was no one to interrupt them now. Though different from her sore shoulders- it was an ache nonetheless.

 

Perhaps he could fix it just the same.

 

“Ben, can you massage me here too?” He stopped his fixed staring at the hand beneath the surface and jerked his head to meet her gaze.

 

Oh what had she done now.

 

If his eye twitch didn’t say enough, his mouth was slightly agape and his chest heaved. There was a distinct touch of pink on the tips of his ears that peeked out beneath wet hair. Those gundark ears gave him away every time, she’d only known him to flush like that in anger. Seething, searing, dark side addled anger.

 

“Are you sure you want me to do that?” He grit the words out between his teeth.

 

Great. Ben had somehow gone from level 0 to ‘I can’t even speak properly’ level anger after a single question. His unpredictable temper had settled somewhat as he found tentative balance with her. In fact, she hadn’t seen him this worked up in at least a month or so- and last time it wasn’t even her fault.

 

“Not if it makes you so upset, I can take care of it myself then.” She found herself more annoyed at his flare up than anything, not afraid. Never afraid. If she’d ever truly feared him, she certainly didn’t now and hadn’t for a long time.

 

She huffed and made to leave when a massive hand encircling her wrist stopped her. His grip was bruising, but the softness in his eyes told her he probably was unaware of the punishing firmness of it. She furrowed her brow in clear anticipation of an explanation.

 

“I’m not upset, Rey-” He stretched his lip and chewed it as he struggled to settle on the words.

“I’m aroused.”

 

A deep inhale and his voice lowered to a conspiratorial hush, noting something almost to himself rather than to her. “And so are you.”

 

Oh. _Oh._ Arousal- yes she’s heard of that before. She knew enough to know it was different than anger, but how it manifested was unfamiliar territory. She knew he could feel her stare, even as he averted his eyes in flushed mortification.

 

He seemed to take a few breaths, composing himself as best as one could call Ben Solo ‘composed’, before his dark gaze could finally meet hers again. 

 

“Do you still want me to touch you?” A man ill-at-ease. 

 

She hesitated for a moment, trying to process how this ‘arousal’ emotion was affecting him so strongly. She could feel it and an uneasy maelstrom of long simmering emotions bubbling beneath.

 

“…Yes.” She couldn’t make herself sound confident, not when she felt how his nerves were fraying. She couldn’t understand it all. She never was given much time to think about these things, and what they all meant.

 

A clenching and unclenching of fists at his sides and- “Are you sure?”

 

“Yes. Yes of course. Ben, I don’t want to do this alone like I always have. It feels good when you touch me.” Her confidence regained she beamed up at him as she settled back into her place in front of him.

 

She could pick up on how worried he was for this, which she found utterly ridiculous. He hadn’t hesitated in the slightest earlier, so why now?

 

“I want to make this good for you.” Almost as if he could hear her thoughts.

 

“Well you were doing a fine job of it before.” She sighed at his hesitation, for he still hadn’t lifted so much as a finger to her yet.

 

“I- I’ve never-” Ben fumbled around, blindly searching for a way to make her understand. As if what he had or hadn’t done mattered to her. She was blatantly aware of how she didn’t know any different, or care at this point.

 

Rey slipped her small hand around his sizable wrists and drew his hand beneath the surface with hers. She could feel his quickening breath along her shoulder as he leaned over it to watch in wonder.

 

“As long as you’re touching me, it couldn’t be anything but wonderful. Every second of it.”

 

As if she’d just compromised a dam within him, something overflowed at her words.

He exhaled heavily and she felt him quake, shuddering while his prominent nose and lips traced along her neck. Whatever the strange emotion was that permeated their bond before, it was now saturating every fiber of it. As if the very waters of the spring they sat in were steeped in this strange and wondrous hunger, this aching pressure.  

 

Apparently emboldened by her encouragement he took it upon himself to follow her hand beneath her thatch of hair and into her slippery folds. Even under water it was apparent just how slick she was. Though he was only cupping her while presumably awaiting her instructions-it was maddening and overwhelming to feel the touch of another on her most private of places. 

 

“You’ll have to tell me what to do.” The galaxy was truly a strange place, now that it had this monster of a man anxiously pleading for orders.

 

“Up,” She keened as he traced a thick finger along her velvety lips. “Y-yes there. Over a little bit maybe-”

 

He knew he’d found what he was looking for when Rey broke off in a sharp gasp. A shame she was facing away from him as her cheeks were now a lovely pink hue. It was nearly too much, and once he started moving Rey was sure she’d met her maker.

 

Ben moved slowly at first, testing what caused her to make sounds, what made her breath catch and what made her loll her head back against his chest and mutter nonsense. The slick of her fluids mingled with the water while he worked her little bundle.

 

“Ben, Ben-” She drew his name out into a breathy gasp when he experimentally swirled his finger along her clit. This was going to be over so much faster than any time she’d ever tried this alone.

 

“Yes, Rey?” His low voice murmured into her ear followed by a breathless “What is it?” when it was apparent the sensations were too much for her to speak.

 

“More.” She began to roll her hips against his hands. More, she needed more. More friction, more of his touch, anything. She was a girl lost in the fire of her own desperation.

 

“More what?”

 

She couldn’t reply, just breathlessly sigh under his ministrations.

 

“More _what_?” He was relentless in his husky demand for her to vocalize it, she felt his soft lips brush along the shell of her ear and it only increased her feverish cravings.

Even in all his nervous bluster he could still be cheeky. That was the Solo streak right there.

 

“Ooh I don’t know-” She arched against him, ignorant and unashamed of her actions and noises.  “Just more.”

 

On an impulse he trailed the hand that was grasping her thighs to her entrance and carefully slipped inside. For all his careful preparations Rey still gasped sharply at the sudden intrusion. Though it pinched a little, she found the more he moved against her the easier it became. She began to push back into him, rubbing her taut backside against the front of his lap. He must like her response because the bond was simply alight with that wondrous pleasurable emotion from both ends.

 

At this point she was tight and slippery enough to drive a man to madness. Enough to make him sigh dreamily against her neck. But her Ben wasn’t a man of dreams, he was a man of action. A little clumsy, but he’d found a pattern of twirling, pumping and stroking that nearly had her vision spotting. It was building already, that pulsating finish to her lonely deeds in her desert home. Almost. Almost...

 

“Ben, that’s it! I think-” she wriggled against his lap in an expression of too much and not enough. “It’s almost, I’m almost-”

 

In the end it was the sheer excitement of having someone else to do this with that coaxed her to an early peak. The pure eroticism of companionship brought the series of rhythmic contractions and rush of warmth against his fingers. Crying out she fell against him in a spineless panting heap.

 

Now that was truly unlike anything she’d ever had before.

 

Before she could even catch her breath he’d grasped her boneless body and turned it towards him. Ben was staring into her eyes, silently searching for something within them. She regained herself enough to close the gap and claim his wonderfully full lips, long and languidly. _Thankfully_.

 

It was the only romantic gesture she’d been taught, and damned if she wasn’t going to use it now. That was better than anything she’d ever done alone, and yet another reason she why she needed this fragmented soul in her life to fill the voided holes in her own.

 

She pushed herself against him, confident that she was getting damn good at this as her tongue ran along his lower lip and gained entry. Their tongues mingled together in the middle ground and he lost himself to her, letting her take over as if he were the raptured one basking in the afterglow. She ran her hands along his sides, much as he had previously done to her the last time they’d kissed.

 

Pressing further into his lap she’d felt something prod insistently along her lower belly. There was something solid and very warm in his undergarments. The more she pushed against it, the more she seemed to notice it, and now there was no mistaking it. In a moment of confusion, she wondered how in the galaxy he’d be stupid enough to bring his precious saber into the pools. She’d sworn it’d been clipped to his robes last she saw it.

 

Rey finally broke away for air and a visual inspection. Nope, it wasn’t a saber. That was still with his robes by the pool as she’d thought, and this was so much _warmer_. What in R’iia’s name was this thing then?

 

He looked like a man in distress, inky wet hair sticking to his flushed neck and lips as he caught her pointed gaze at his crotch area. 

 

Without warning or a further word he escaped her grip and hopped out of the pool but she followed close behind. It was still stifling hot, even as her damp skin was exposed to the open air. Nonetheless Ben appeared to be heading for his clothes before her voice stopped him.

 

“What’s that?” She tilted her chin and gestured towards the place his cock all but jutted away from his wide hips and clinging wet underthings. Had he been a less sizeable man it might’ve escaped being a conversation piece, but pitching a tent at his size was painfully obvious.

 

“Don’t you know the difference between men and-”

 

“Yes of course I do!”  Nothing escapes a scavenger, observant creature that she was, and she knew he definitely didn’t have _that_ when they got in here.

 

“But, What. Is. That.” She demanded more pointedly.

 

“I’m _aroused_ , Rey.” He chided her and repeated his earlier expression. Rey just narrowed her eyes and tilted her head slightly.

He cast a heavy gaze downwards with a sigh when it was clear she was still missing something.

 

“It’s me. It’s my body’s reaction, just like yours.” He gestured to the place his hands had been moments ago, seeming almost disappointed in her lack of knowledge.

 

“Why is it like that?”

 

Another petulant sigh, as if he were trying to make a child understand. “It’s engorged.” he adds “With blood.”

 

“So it’s normal, then?”

 

“Sometimes.” He scoffs, feigning disinterest as he looked away. Anywhere but at the object in question. A façade of cool collection, but she could feel his nerves bubbling beneath it all.

 

However, upon being called out and receiving attention, his cock twitched under her gaze. In fact, it was straining so sizably against Ben’s undergarments that it had stretched a gap between the waistband and his rippling abdominals. If she looked closely she could almost catch a glimpse of it, pale and slightly flushed just like the rest of him.

 

“Does it ache too?” She knew her relentless barrage of questions were starting to get to him.

 

“ _Rey_.”  A slight hiss through his teeth as he pinched the bridge of his long nose.

 

He was trying to use a mask of annoyance to cover for his nerves, shame and… Was that guilt?

In her ignorance she was utterly innocent and unashamed, the emotions that hung heavy in the force were not her own.

 

“I’m serious, I don’t know what having all… _That_ ,” She vaguely gestured downwards “is like.”

 

“Yes. When it gets to this.. state, it aches a bit I suppose.” Ben forced the words between his teeth.

 

Her mind alighted with an idea. Suddenly she knew just what he might need to fix his currently tense state, much like how he’d done for her.

 

“Alright, I can do a massage like how you-” She moved to touch the fascinating engorged organ.

 

“No!” He suddenly seethed and she startled, immediately retracting her hand. The simmering emotions had boiled over.

 

 “Please don’t.” His eyes grew tender as he pleaded with her, voice barely a whisper.

 

“Well why not?  I don’t understand.” Rey’s outstretched hand had joined its twin in a stance her hips.

 

“I know you don’t, that’s the problem. This isn’t what you think it is.”

 

“Ben listen, you don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed if I help you. I want to help you. You did it for me just now and it was great. You don’t understand-” She reached for him once more.

 

He backed away so quickly he nearly fell over the rocky edge of the spring.

 

“No, _you_ don’t understand! I thought you knew, that’s why I touched you. I thought you were ready.” He was admonishing himself as much as her. Guiltily, shamefully.

 

She wasn’t listening to his words. She could only hear how badly Ben wanted her to touch him. His body was begging for it so loudly it nearly transcended the force.

 

“But you,” Rey crept forward, entranced by the signals she was receiving. “You want me to touch you. I can feel it.”

 

“Of course I want you to. I want you so badly it hurts me. It _burns_.” His lip shined as he fervently regarded her.  “But it doesn’t matter. I don’t deserve you, and you clearly aren’t ready.”

 

“Not ready for what?” Though slightly taken aback by his fierce intensity she gave him her best challenging look; she was ready for anything. She was Rey of Jakku.

 

“For _how_ I want you.” Repeating himself Ben looked like he might vaporize on the spot before he managed to steel his resolve in an icy shroud. “Sexually. It’s a weak and foolish desire. It has no place here, there are much more important things to be done.”

 

“Oh, so you want to have sex? With me? That’s why your body is-”

 

“Forget it Rey!” He stepped over to collect his robes from the ground. “Just forget all of it, don’t waste your effort on inane sentiments, they will only hurt and disappoint you.”

 

She knew Ben well enough to know he wasn’t just talking about her anymore. Her best bet would be in remaining silent, and letting him clear his thoughts.

 

“Clouding the future with petty sentimentality is the last thing we need, especially now.” Though his words were cold his eyes were clearly apologetic.  

 

A huff of frustration at her palliative silence and he turned to descend from the ruins at his usual brusque pace. Rey didn’t make any motions to follow as she watched him fade into the baking heat of the grassy hills below.

There was nothing for it, if he wanted to sulk she wouldn’t stop him. If he had “more important things” to do, then he’d better get on with them for it would soon be nightfall.

 

Thinking back, his words hardly stung- she was more curious about why he’d reacted so viscerally. Especially at the mention of sex. Of course Rey didn’t know how sex worked, but she knew it was part of love. Or at least that’s what she’d been told. And she knew love meant not being alone, love meant having family. Ben this had ‘no place here’, but he’d also said she’d had ‘no place’ once… and look how that’d turned out for him. She knew she loved him, and he surely loved her in his way.

 

She sat there for a long time and pondered, knees under her chin. The only thing that drew her back was the rumbling promise of rain in the distance, eclipsing the moons of the planet in the sky.

 

                                                                                                                       ~~.~~ 

 

                                                                                                             

By the time Rey stepped into their shared living area, the brief storm had passed. The odd bubble shaped housing unit they’d taken up in on the outskirts of the ruined temple had done a fine job standing against the frequent summer storms. But it hardly mattered for she was already soaked through.

Rey grumbled, as much as Jakku’s desert bloom loved the rains she’d hoped to at least keep her robes dry.

 

Glancing around she saw no sign of Ben straight away and save for the radiant blue glow of the twin moons the place was dark. She found a cushion from the sitting space placed on the floor.  Rey imagined he’d tried to meditate after skulking off, and if the rips in the fabric were anything to indicate, that had not gone well.

 

Striding with long legs through the darkness she passed up her room for his identical one just down the hall. Wanting just to check and see if he was indeed inside or wandering the night she slid the door open.

 

He was there, sprawled out in a restless sleep on his bed, bits of parchment on the floor with ink scratched into them. Oh. So he’d even tried his old fallback to calm his nerves too. By the light of the starry sky through the expansive viewport she could see his usual steady hand was rough, the insights of the ruins scrawled out in uncharacteristically messy penmanship and littered about the floor.

 

Damn. Maybe she’d gotten under his skin more than she’d thought. A pang of guilt rose in her. She couldn’t understand what’d gone so wrong in back in the spring. She just wanted to show him how much she cared, to show him how much she loved him.

Stripping herself of her wet clothes and leaving them in the doorway she made her mind up.

 

Rey wasn’t sure what exactly happened during the act itself only that it usually involved both parties being naked, touching and in love. She remembered Rose talked about it fondly, and that all sounded quite nice to her as she edged ever closer to his sleeping form.

Kriff, he looked good to her. The moons’ blue tint reflected against his pale skin, freckles dotting him like constellations down his expansive body. Where the sheets dipped down she could see he’d forgone sleep-pants in the stifling heat, opting for underbriefs instead.

 

 Before Rey could stop herself she felt that familiar ache again. Suddenly aware of the surging heat within her, she unwrapped her breast band and shed the last of her underclothes; yielding them the the floor. He thought she wasn’t ready, but she knew she was. She was ready for anything. She was Rey. She was in love. And she needed him to know it.

 

However, had she been thinking clearly she might’ve thought about the position she’d just put herself in. Yet there she was standing over Ben Solo. While he slept.  

 

Something in the air snapped as his saber flew to his hands in a defensive stance, igniting the room in a blazing glow and unsteady hum. He only stared at her, bleary eyes blown wide and chest heaving with anger, confusion and slight betrayal. His eye twitched with sudden realization and anything he would’ve roared at her died in his throat. 

 

By the light of his saber he could clearly see she was naked.

 

“Please.” Now she was the one whose lips trembled and hazel gaze pleaded upon the utterance of the word. She was the one who knew so little of what she was asking, but needed it all the same.

 

Ben extinguished his saber in an instant and with a weighty exhalation he let it clatter to the floor. At this angle his expression was obscured by the dark of the room, but she could still see the glint of eyes as he considered her. She waited on baited breath, hoping she was done making an ass of herself for the night and causing Ben further trauma.  Hoping it all wasn’t a terrible mistake.

 

“Come here.” He resigned and reached for her, scooting to make room.

 

Still on an adrenaline high, she joined him on the mattress but only just. Rey left an arm’s length between her and Ben, sensing how on edge he still was from his abrupt awakening. Her skin was suddenly chilled as she felt a breeze through the trellised slats of the viewport. The rain had cooled the swelter.

 

“I want this, Ben. I want it.” She listened to his uneven breathing and the planet’s din of nocturnal life.

 

A retiring sigh cut through the dark. “I would disappoint you.”

 

“I know I don’t really know much about all this, but I meant what I said before.” She reached to brush her fingertips along his chest.

 

“Mmm?” Voice still a bit thick and rough with sleep, he clasped her fingers within his own.

 

“Every second you touch me is more wonderful than the next, and it’s all because it’s you, Ben. Just because it’s you.”

She bit her lip and shifted close enough to whisper “And I want more. I’m so ready for more.”

 

Igniting the air surrounding them he pulled her to him. Bringing Rey flush against his chest he captured her lips with his own. She twined fingers into his thick waves of dark hair, yanking only slightly when they had to break apart to gasp for breath. Barely stopping for air he feverishly kissed along her jawline as he moved downwards to her delicately featured neck, sucking along the tanned skin and tasting her with fervor.

 

Rey gave as good as she got, savoring the salty musk of the taut lines and muscle of his jaw down to his neck. She sucked much harder than he’d dared to, captivated by the grunting sighs and shaky breaths she drew from him. Rey would relish in the fascinating marks she’d left on his skin in the morning.

 

As much as she’d wanted to keep going until she reached those glorious pecs of his, Ben’s hands on her chest stopped her. He drew her back to face level, but seemed unable to release her chest as he stared at it unabashed awe. She hadn’t realized how sensitive her breasts were until his shaking hands easily consumed them. Ben gave them as gentle a squeeze as he was currently capable of before running the pads of his thumbs over the twin peaks, causing them to pebble under his touch.

 

She squirmed against him, desperate for friction as he palmed her pert front. She felt the swollen part of him against her again, confined to his briefs but clearly stretching against them, aching to be set free.

 

It wasn’t until she tried biting his neck that she felt him buck his hips against her exposed core. The friction it created was divine, but even the soft fabric was rough against her in this oversensitive state.  When he pulled back and slid along her soaked slit again she couldn’t resist throwing the sheets off to further observe what was pressing into her.

 

“Can we take these off?”

 

He could only suck his lips in and nod in response. She slowly peeled down his briefs to reveal his cock, which immediately slapped up against his ivory sculpted abdomen. Swollen and flushed it was a strange sight but once she put her hands on it it was even stranger to touch. Skin like the finest shimmersilk, but when she gave it a squeeze it was firmer than durasteel. He was unlike anything she’d ever handled before and so very warm under her tips.

 

Stranger still was his reaction to her caresses. He wheezed when she first put her hands on him, and groaned like a man under duress as she squeezed him, weakly burying his head against her shoulders. By the time Ben finally put an end to her exploration drops of something clear and viscous were leaking from the tip of it.

 

“Stop!” Suddenly pulling her hands from him. “W-Wait,” He assuaged, gently intertwining their fingers together, bringing them to his lips.

 

“Am I doing it wrong?” Rey withdrew her hands from his and pulled back, praying she’d hadn’t hurt him in her insatiable curiosity and inexperience.

 

“No, it’s good. It’s too good. We won’t be able to finish if you keep touching me like that.”  In between heavy gulps of air.

 

“Finish?” Like you did to me earlier?” She caught his drift rapidly, quick study that she was. So, he was capable of the same release he’d brought her to earlier. She wondered if he’d ever taken to doing what she used to do in her solitude, the image of him gasping alone in the dark bringing a fresh rush of arousal to her quivering center.

 

 “Yes, but we’re not done.” A hand trailed down below her waist, pushing between the soaked lips. “Not yet.”

 

“Mmm.” It was all should could muster as she felt him slide a digit inside her, biting her lip at the sudden sensation.

 

Her eyes had fluttered closed while he gently pumped into her, but she snapped them open the second he withdrew from her. He seemed to be considering her again, nervously. In the pause she took it upon herself to find friction, and as she’d established earlier the hard cock between his legs did just fine.

 

“Rey I-” The slide of her against his exposed length stole the air from him. “-perhaps we should stop here.”

 

The silky slide coupled with the firmness of him made for a mind melting sensation against her clit.  She wasn’t having that. Not again- especially now that he’d just hinted that there was actually more to this.

 

“Stop?  Why? What’s supposed to happen next?” She demanded, incredulous at his ridiculous display of restraint, even now.

 

“ _This_ fits inside you.”

 

Pushing apart from her, even as she whined at the sensation he took his weeping member in hand. Its very apparent size spoke the words he didn’t have to. Now fully engorged and angry, she momentarily balked at the idea of exactly _where_ this was supposed to go.

 

“So, uhm,” She took a swallow of air to cover the massive lump that had inconveniently nestled itself in her throat.  “How exactly is this supposed to work? I’ve never done this before.”

 

“Me neither.” He added quickly, confessing his inexperience even at thirty some years of age.

 

“Well we could at least try- I want to try it.”

 

“It’s going to hurt you. I don’t ever want to hurt you.” He murmured, but his words hardly mattered when she could feel how badly every fiber of his being burned for her.

 

“You couldn’t if you tried.” She attempted her best determined grin. It seemed plucky bravery was back, aided by her massive arousal.

 

“Well, we’ll see. Lie back.” He smirked through his anxiety, as if this were just another competitive match between the light and dark.

 

He moved atop her, attempting to settle his wide hips between her thighs. Rey wondered if this was all a mistake for the briefest moment, as her legs struggled to stretch wide enough to accommodate this star destroyer of a man. Although Ben seemed familiar enough with the mechanics to know what needed to go where, as he stared down at her with nervous awe she knew everything happening was new and overwhelming to him as well. _Knowing_ was clearly not the same as _doing_ for him.

 

Rey hummed as she felt his erection against her inner thigh, already sticky with the mess of their shared arousal. She felt a wave of guilt she was sure wasn’t her own wash over her and knew it was probably just Ben and his ridiculous ‘I don’t deserve this’ nonsense again. Rey assured him by pulling him to her for another searing kiss, but they were both so winded already they could hardly endure before breaking apart to pant against each other’s lips. Rey swiped her tongue along his thick bottom lip and his length twitched along her center.

 

And then there was nothing in the room but their shared heavy breathing as he pushed into her.

 

 It was a slow process, inch by tortuous inch. She stared up at the ceiling and breathed through the pinching full sensation of it all.  It was a strange duality, for she felt how unimaginably good he felt sliding in and the sensation alone almost vicariously pushed her over the brink. Her tight wet heat felt better than he’d ever known was possible in this galaxy or the next, and through the pricks of pain she felt it all. She had no idea how he was hanging on to his sanity nor his control.

 

As if on cue, “Sweet _heart_ ,” Bitten off by a deep groan made by a man teetering on the brink.

 

She’d been in much greater pain than this many times on Jakku, in training, and on the field of battle, but somehow this was something _else_. This was a deeper more personal pain than any of those. He’d stopped short of seating himself inside her, he must’ve sensed her pain.

 

Rey rocked her hips against him, to see if the sting could be alleviated by the smooth glide of her movement down his cock. She didn’t want to wait anymore. She couldn’t. She bridged that final distance and took Ben to the hilt inside her.

 

His arms collapsed against her, and Rey felt him gasping against her ear. He shakily drew his hips back and made a shallow thrust back inside her. A sharp sensation, painful and yet there was something else to be had there. He did it again only even more shallow and this time she felt a tight coil of pleasure unfurl within her.

 

“I _like_ this.” She lifted her chin to whisper to him.

 

Ben immediately raised himself to face her, eye twitching under the strain of his emotions- too many for her to even recognize. His lips quivered with the promise of speech, but only an incoherent grunt fell from them as he drove himself ever so lightly into her again. He was holding something back, she realized. She felt it, as sure as she felt him inside of her.

 

She clenched her walls against him when he pushed deeper and hit something that sent a rush of wet tingles cutting through her. It made her cry out, and as a result his next thrust was slower and more delicate than she could stand. He seemed to be under the delusion that he was breaking her, but this was her making. This was her formation. This was a making of love, of family and belonging. She’d never needed him, _all_ of him more than she did right now.

 

“Ben,” Her voice cut through the rumbles from outside, the promise of another storm was in the distance.  “ _Ben_.”

 

He looked up from where he was focused on watching them join together in utter reverence.

 

“Let go.”

 

Apparently that did it, for something inside him seemed to take over- something built for war. He increased his pace, his hips suddenly a flurry of movement against hers. Slamming himself inside her constricting hot center before withdrawing only to drive himself forward again. The effort from it was making wet slapping noises, but those could hardly be heard over the noises Rey found herself creating. Through it all Ben’s intense stare never left her own.

 

The unbridled pace only sustained for a few moments before Ben’s brows knitted together in a look of wild panic. The unintelligible thunderous breaths and stifled cries suddenly came together to form a singular phrase,

 

“Rey-”

 

It was all the warning she had before he ripped himself from her and spilled copious ribbons of a hot liquid all over her belly. Groaning from behind clenched teeth as he released it, he looked nearly violent as his features contorted in fierce ecstasy. It pumped from him at such velocity that she even felt droplets hit her breast and neck.

 

Rey blinked at him, wondering what the kriffing hell had just happened. Wiping some from her neck as it quickly cooled in the rain laden breeze from the vents, she found it was pale in color and very sticky to the touch. She felt more of it that hadn’t made it to her belly as it dripped down her inner thighs.

 

Returning her shocked focus to him, she found he had collapsed on his back by her side and was fighting for air, his sculpted chest heaving with the effort.

 

“What’s happened?” A surprised lit to her tone.

 

“I’m sorry.” She could feel his shame disrupting the otherwise sated tension in the space.  “I couldn’t control myself.”

 

Ben quickly reached for the discarded blankets on the floor and wiped his mess from Rey, as if she were a child soiled with dirt after an outdoor excursion. His humiliated rough strokes against her skin caused her to flinch but she was much too shell-shocked to protest. Once he finished he threw the blanket back and tentatively reached for her, notably still winded. Rey curled into his massive chest, suddenly exhausted but her mind still abuzz with wonder.

 

“So, was that it, then?” Rey glanced up from counting the moles that spanned across his chest as his breathing calmed.

 

“I- yes.” She couldn’t see the vehement shade of red his face turned as he stuttered the words, but she could certainly feel the resurgence of embarrassment.

 

“Oh.” It was all she could muster as she attempted to form a coherent thought on her recent experience.

 

“Only for me. It doesn’t have to be for you.” He shakily amended. “We can do more.”

 

A contented sigh and a slight shake to her head. “No, that’s alright. I quite enjoyed that.”

 

She felt his breathing relax further as the embarrassment ebbed away and gave way to an unfamiliar feeling of contentment radiating from him, a strange sensation from her normally somewhat despondent partner. He murmured low affections to her before clutching her closer, seasonal heat notwithstanding.

 

“Ben?”

 

He could only hum in response, blissful exhaustion was quickly winning the fight for his conscious mind. She was almost proud that she could’ve somehow facilitated him to be in such a state of satisfied exhaustion. This was not an easy man to wear down. She had no idea how she’d done it, but that clearly warranted further exploration.

 

“Can we do that again tomorrow?”

 

He perked up marginally at this, wearing the lopsided lazy grin of a man who’d once offered her a job.  “That’s a promise, sweetheart.” 

 

“Good, there’s lots more I’d like to try.” She smiled into his chest, knowing his resulting silence and deep rhythmic breaths meant he’d succumb to the heavy pull of contented slumber. Her questions could wait.

 

Rey kept grinning even as her own eyes closed, drifting off to the steady sounds of Ben’s breathing and summer rains.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear prompter: I hope it's alright I left Ben's "return" to the resistance rather vague as the war is over and they've already set off for new horizons at this point. :]  
> If you want more, I can turn this into somewhat of a smutty series if you'd like. 
> 
> Many thanks to everyone who kept me going along the way.


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